We Write YA

Oscar Wilde? Enough said.

Apparently, he would say this whenever he walked into a room. No wonder he was always the center of conversation.

Oscar Wilde was never shy about being himself, even in an era of sexual repression and prejudice. Even after he was sent to jail for his sexual orientation, he never gave up who he was, and that's something we all could learn from.

He spat out this pithy witticism on his deathbed.

He was just so witty. Witty for days.

Witty witty witty

He's almost as witty as Cassandra Clare

Witty witty witty witty witty

Witty witty witty witty witty witty witty

Witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty witty

I think he wrote books too

Don't mind us, we're just over here casually freaking out.

So unless you've been living under a rock (or in like, District 13) you've probably heard the buzz about this beautiful motion picture baby already. A feature film composed ONLY of author cameos? Pinch us. Please. And if this glorious moment turns out to be real, you might just need to stand by with a defibrillator or something because this much happiness is literally lethal and we'll pass out in actuality.

So the producers haven't said much, but if this cryptic tweet by her is anything to go by, fans of the Mortal Instruments could totally be seeing Cassandra Clare on the big screen yet again. If Cassie's in on the movie, it wouldn't come as a shock - she's already had hella cameo experience in City of Bones the movie:

But in addition to established faces, word is that the movie probably will welcome several up-and-coming cameo actors. John Green is probably a shoe-in for the male lead. We mean, just look at him:

ADORBS

And rumor is that for fight choreographer, they've just acquired the badass himself -

That's right

CHRISTOPHER.....FUCKING....PAOLINI

POWER LEVELS = MAJESTIC AS FUCK

And with Veronica Roth probably playing a super fierce warrior, we can only imagine how action-packed and adrenaline-soaked this orgy of awesome is going to be.

Speaking of authors with serious screen cred, it's already pretty much a given that Stephenie Meyer will be in on the project as well. She made cameos in both Twilight and Breaking Dawn, and to be honest, we can't wait to see the softspoken housewife take voyeuristic pleasure in the union of a teen girl and her stalker in another film.

Why does Hollywood still make regular movies? Like what I can't even

Parents and teens around the country have spoken out against the recent cullings of school arts programs. Arts, music, and literature classes have historically been "first-choice" programs to cut during school budget shortages, but this time, arts warriors have a new argument on their side: science.

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New studies have confirmed what scientists have suspected for decades: the left brain is a cold, sterile wasteland with nothing to offer the world but realistically depicted grey matter and sometimes hatching to indicate some grooves and fissures.

Describing the left brain, which allegedly manages logic, computation, science, order, and rationality, scientists are finally proclaiming what we all know: it's just a fucking killjoy. While the right brain regularly expresses itself through firestorms of exploding paint, investigations have shown the left brain sits quietly, depicts itself realistically, and otherwise just looks like an actual brain.

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Seriously, what is its deal?

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Proponents of the arts programs have cited studies that show that painting, creative writing, and band/orchestra classes help strengthen right-brain skills, such as tripping balls, erupting in psychedelic colors, and looking like a pretty badass graffiti painting. They claim that students who rely too much on their left brain are often trapped in sepia tones, black and white, and conventional fonts acceptable on a job resume.

How are we not funding this?

Spring is just around the corner, which means that publishing contracts' annual migration from temperate rain forests just above the Tropic of Cancer will be one of the most important periods for writers around the world, and is greeted by thousands of writers in the U.S. alone. For budding authors, making sense of the deluge might be a bit mystifying at first. Here's a quick and dirty guide to one of the world's greatest natural wonders.

1. Preparation

Although some experienced authors often arm themselves for the hunt with sophisticated gear, a beginner can usually have a successful season with a basic pair of binoculars. Read up on publishing books so you can identify contracts from niche agencies and more mainstream agency powerhouses, as well as dangerous offers you should run away from (i.e. anything that says "Full Fathom Five"). Make sure to have a pair of comfortable outdoor clothes, sun protection, and a water bottle for hydration.

2. Find the Contract that's Right for You.

Nothing compares to the rush of catching your first glimpse of a flock of publishing contracts. Numbering from as few as five to as many as several hundreds, publishing contracts light down in incredible, synchronized movements you would swear border on the supernatural. Scientists are studying just how messages are communicated throughout the flock, but whatever the reason, it sure makes for an amazing show.

While sorting through the flock, it's important to know the difference between a single-book deal and a six-figure, four-book contract. If you're lucky, you might spot a movie deal that allows you sole casting rights.

19th Century Historical Fiction Name Generator

With the deluge of manuscripts that most agencies receive on the daily, it's no surprise that agents now are more selective than ever. Making the wrong impression in the first few lines - or even the first few words - could be enough to land your precious baby in slush pile hell forever.

How can you save your baby? Make sure it isn't one of these five manuscripts that agents are tired of seeing.

1. The Lindisfarne Gospels

Everything about this manuscript - from the weathered paper to the jeweled bindings, screams desperate. Add on an unconventional font, and you've got yourself the Next Great American Dud.

2. Sir Thomas More

Was Shakespeare really the mysterious hand D? Would it have been to controversial to perform during the reign of Queen Elizabeth? Do agents really care? Hasta la vista!

3. Lord Byron's Don Juan

What are those weird white stains?

4. Bruce Springsteen's Setlist for the Roxy, 1975

Was the night of October 18, 1975, part of Springsteen's 6-night gig in Los Angeles, one of the most epic Springsteen performances ever? Probably. Is the live version of "Thunder Road" that was included on the Live '75-85 5-record LP, featuring an ethereal yet heartrending piano introduction by Roy Bittan, legendary? Yes. Are you doing this agent any favors by reminding them that Springsteen likely has the whole concert audio locked up somewhere in a vault? No. Do not submit.

5. Contract to Satan, Signed in Blood

The YA vampire romance trend peaked in 2013; it's probably good to give agents some breathing space before sending them you name scrawled in distorted lettering over the symbol of a pentagram. A few years may seem like a long time, but trust us, soon the occult and supernatural will be seen as retro - and that much cooler!

We know, we know. When it comes to storycraft, there's no one more quotable than the Quotable himself, Neil Gaiman. And while it goes without saying that Neil Gaiman is casually one of the most important authors of this generation, we thought we'd round up some of his epic writing quotes that you may not have heard before.

Woah.

Right in the feels, Neil.

This adorable quote is from a poem of Neil's, "Sweet Caroline," which he recited at his wedding to the brilliant singer-author-poet-all-around-badass Amanda "Caroline" Palmer.