Parents and teens around the country have spoken out against the recent cullings of school arts programs. Arts, music, and literature classes have historically been "first-choice" programs to cut during school budget shortages, but this time, arts warriors have a new argument on their side: science.
New studies have confirmed what scientists have suspected for decades: the left brain is a cold, sterile wasteland with nothing to offer the world but realistically depicted grey matter and sometimes hatching to indicate some grooves and fissures.
Describing the left brain, which allegedly manages logic, computation, science, order, and rationality, scientists are finally proclaiming what we all know: it's just a fucking killjoy. While the right brain regularly expresses itself through firestorms of exploding paint, investigations have shown the left brain sits quietly, depicts itself realistically, and otherwise just looks like an actual brain.
Seriously, what is its deal?
Proponents of the arts programs have cited studies that show that painting, creative writing, and band/orchestra classes help strengthen right-brain skills, such as tripping balls, erupting in psychedelic colors, and looking like a pretty badass graffiti painting. They claim that students who rely too much on their left brain are often trapped in sepia tones, black and white, and conventional fonts acceptable on a job resume.
How are we not funding this?
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